Act Nice in America

the text that would have been sent to chad

actnice — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 23:26:33 +0000

That is not necessary. You’ve already made an impression. You couldn’t make it to the day you picked. I’ve already bought tickets cuz guys I hang out with don’t pull a stunt like this (at least till today). I’ll look for someone rational.

(well, I actually sent this. Feeling better now. A huge waste of time but I don’t have to waste a single more minute on this dumb ass).

and what not

actnice — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 20:57:38 +0000

Just went to see my mentor to tell him about washington state’s rejection. I… actually don’t remember what he told me. Just to stay calm and I’ll find a job… or something like that.

I guess I will. If not, I’ll just jump off a bridge.

Chad ditched the movie last minute. Absolutely not. I don’t understand why I booked a ticket if this was going to happen. Idiot me. Or he might be an idiot. I don’t know.

He didn’t look suck a fucker. Oh well.

Chad

actnice — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 03:48:01 +0000

I texted him finally and we’ll catch a movie this weekend. He’ll probably be my last shot in St. Louis. Hope it will work out. I really don’t (and can’t) expect much in guys. If I’m tired of trying, then probably I am and just quit trying and look for something difficult.

You can smile if you think it’s not hard to do so.

emotional bitch

actnice — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 03:27:58 +0000

i don’t know. i’m feeling a little depressed. probably for job situation. valdosta sent me a rejection letter. i don’t even remember i applied. i really can’t handle these well.

quit thinking

actnice — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 09:06:34 +0000

If Chad won’t text me, he just won’t. It wasn’t a match. I mean… he didn’t seem particularly disengaged from the conversation but who knows. I really don’t know… if he overheard Ryan and me talking, or not. Probably he didn’t. He may be just being shy.

There’s another guy who keeps calling me babe… but then he’s 23. Chad is probably the right age. Guys in early twenties are fun to hang out with but tiring. Guys like Chad is probably not the best thing there is but I got to settle at some point. If he’s comfy to be with, so be it.

I hope I didn’t screw. I mean, even before Ryan comes in, I thought he was on the borderline… he has cute eyes for sure.

My score on meeting in a public place first: I missed Ryan C. But other than that, Ryan O. and … well I really don’t have many occasions where things started with a public place. I don’t know.

I just need to calm down.

genius!

actnice — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 07:58:53 +0000

It’s a thesaurus for idioms. http://www.learn-english-today.com/idioms/idiom-categories/intelligence-understanding.htm
Genius!

shit

actnice — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 07:56:20 +0000

I met Chad after class. 32, about my height, beautiful blue eyes but a receding hairline.

I think he’s cute. Well, I met him at Cartel. I met Ryan along in the middle and I think I got confused when he told me that Chad is not my type. Probably not but not everyone can be perfect.

I hope Chad didn’t hear my conversation with Ryan.

He gave me a hug before we went apart and asked me if we wanted to hang out again.

And then no text message afterwards… he might have overheard my conversation with Ryan. Oh well. If he’s not the one, he is not. I may be lost. Like big time.

another one down

actnice — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 21:42:06 +0000

Washington State sent me a rejection letter. Okay. I’m just left with Montclair or UM Lowell. I just have to hope for the best. Not sure why but I suck. Big time. I got the rejection like 20 minutes before my lecture… okay okay. Just forget about the letter and let’s stay focused on the lecture. My students don’t have to share my depression.

how do these remarks sit with you

actnice — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 05:19:27 +0000

sit with you

Well, it wasn’t on the dictionary but
“How do these remarks sit with you?”
means “How do you feel about these remarks?” or “How do you take these remarks?”
どうお考えですか?　どうお思いになりますか?

A day before spring 2012

actnice — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 20:43:59 +0000

Hung out with Ryan last night. He’s pretty good as a friend. I got home at two in he morning. We had a tornado warning.

My class starts tomorrow. It will be the last regular-semester course I teach at wash u. Hope it’ll go well.

Rather peaceful at this moment. Who knows what though.

I’m feeling sleepy now…